How to Stop Fighting About Money
Love puts no limits on topics for conversation, but if you are constantly fighting over money, it is not something you want to bring up. Unfortunately, finance is the number one issue married couples fight about, and it is consistently a leading cause of divorce.
Fighting about money may be common, but the answer is not to have the number-oriented partner take over. That is the recipe for disaster that results in one partner blindly spending money while the other stresses out about unpaid bills.
Successfully navigating these tricky needs, you to find out how to work together and ingress money decisions in a way that benefits your bank account and your marriage. That is why healthily working through your money issues is actually more valuable than the money itself. Here are some ways about how to stop fighting about money.
Schedule a Weekly 5 Minute Financial Review:
Set a weekly appointment so that talking about money becomes an ordinary circumstance. With the help of this, you can achieve two goals. First, it helps you feel more comfortable having regular financial discussions.
Additionally, you won't have to muster up the courage to bring up an important issue because you have a standing meeting. It also prevents potential fighting about money in which one partner is caught off-guard. Second, it provides you an opportunity to review and also help to adjust the budget each week so that you can achieve your goals very fast.
Don't Be Afraid of Compromise:
The word compromise may not come naturally to you, but if you want to stop fighting over money, it is very difficult. While you never want to compromise your integrity or ruin your financial plan, meeting in the middle can lead to a great solution.
Marriage is all about giving and taking, so stay on the same page by letting a small wiggle room on tough topics. Create a family vision, plan, or mission statement. If you agree on where you are going, then you are more likely to get there.
Choose Grace and Forgiveness:
Being international about money means you are going to notice your mistakes and your partner's. While you are doing so, you will keep making mistakes, but it is ok because there is no such thing as financial perfection. Choose to respond with grace and forgiveness, and move on.
Avoid Wild Exaggerations:
the most dangerous words are never and always. It is very easy to fall back on" you never do this" or "you always do that." Most of the time, these accusations are based on emotions instead of reality. Don't fall into the trap of these words. Be careful of speaking in extreme situations.
Jumping Right to the Big Topics:
However, it is very important to talk about money, but jumping straight to the topic is the biggest hurdle to leap right away. Instead of that, keep the conversation light and short for the first week of the budget discussion.
Focus on what the upcoming expenses are for the next week and how well you stuck to the initial plan of the week. Once you get comfortable with that, start discussing more long-term objectives.
Recognize and Appreciate Your Differences:
Men and women are different from each other. But that difference is not bad, in fact, it is really very important. Here we are talking about being aware of each other's differences. This is the very first step to actually being able to appreciate them. Use that to maintain balance during your money talks.
Don't just hear your partner's concerns, but also look for the truth in what they say. You are not the only one with a perspective on the issues. That is the reason it is very important to listen first and then speak.
Try to be More Caring and Patient:
Money issues are really very personal and can touch on some deeply entrenched emotions. However, by knowing each other, the couple allows themselves to admit their past mistakes, which helps them openly plan for the future without feeling shame.
Share a Joint Bank Account:
Most people are very passionate and protective over their right to a separate account from their partner. But for success, financially and relationally, a couple must be on the same page in marriage.
It is very difficult to stay one if you have separate bank accounts. Both are arguing about money all the time and face constant financial stress in their marriage. Also, open a savings account so you can save some money by keeping it in that account.
Agree on Big Purchases:
As we mentioned above, it is very important to both be on the same page when having big purchases, like a car, planning a vacation, or another splurge. But it can be very difficult. It may be that one of you feels that the item is now essential or want to invest in a more expensive option to save money in the long run. But don't make these types of huge purchases until both agree on the purchase.
Spend some time explaining and listening to the opinions of each other until you can resolve your differences and then make a decision. Also, discuss the discount and deals on your purchase, so you can easily buy that item without hurting your budget more.